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TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile"?
JOHN: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!

TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct... Now, class,
Who discovered America?
CLASS: ! George!

TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have
ten years ago.
WILLY: Me!

TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SILVIA: Your name on this report card.
 

TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right.....
"I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
JOHNNY: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married
on the sameday sametime."

TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree,
but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
JOHNNY: "Because George still had the axe in his hand."

TEACHER: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
SAM: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog"
is exactly the same as your brother's.
Did u copy his?
DESMOND: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no
longer interested?
PUPIL: A teacher...